Fear

"Do one thing everyday that scares you" - Mary Schmich

     In ten days I will be in the air flying to Suji, South Korea to spend a year teaching English and I am terrified. 

      I am terrified of the language barrier and very different culture.  I have traveled extensively before but all of my travels have been to places with European based cultures and Slavic or Romance based languages, both of which I have studied.  I also have a fear of not being able to make friends.  I know that this is a stupid fear and of course I will eventually meet people and by the end of the year I will be crying and feeling like I cannot live without them.  However this is my first time having a real adult job where my friend group will most likely come from my co-workers and as there are only 7 of them the irrational part of me fears that none of them will like me.

                      
                           Suji is about an hour outside of Seoul, the nearest large city is Suwon

        My third fear is probably my biggest fear: that I will not accomplish all that I have set out to do while in Korea.  I have many reasons for choosing to go to Korea, the first one being that I do not want to be a real adult yet.  I have described this year as responsible running away.  I am avoiding starting a career but at the same time am being responsible by saving money and starting to pay off my student loans.  The second reason for going to Korea is that I need time to get into shape.  My ultimate goal is to come back from Korea and be able to apply to the Madison Police Department Academy.  In order to get in I have to complete certain physical tests, such as 15 push-ups, that I currently cannot do.  Of all the research I have done on the city that I am moving to the most research has gone into finding a gym, fitness classes, or anything that I can join as soon as I arrive to start my new schedule and new routine with exercise built in.

I thought after living in Denmark packing would be a breeze, its not.

     Also while in Korea I have a few big trips that I would like to take.  Once I actually start my career it will no longer be possible to take month long trips so I want to go to as many places as I can now.  Before I return to the US permanently I am hoping to take trips to Southeast Asia (Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, and Thailand) and Australia and New Zealand. 

       In the midst of these fears it is easy to forget about my excitement.  I am so excited to be traveling again, to see new places, and to meet new people.  The quote, "Do one thing everyday that scares you," does not mean to live in fear everyday.  It instead is urging you to overcome your fear and to prove that you are stronger than you think.  My goal in the next 10 days is to do just that overcome my fears and have the excitement come to the forefront.  Until then I have a lot of packing to do, goodbyes to say, and planning so, so much planning.